I just had a visitation by Michael Zirkle! He rang my bell, I greeted him warmly, and he proceed to ask me "if I had anything to say to him". So I repeated pretty much everything that I'd said over the past 24 hours on his and Joseph's secret love-fest hideaway on the internet. Basically that Michael was a little daft by stating that profit making for the Boylan Heights Association was just deplorable.
He then proceeded to tell me that I was one of those people that "hide behind their mouse and keyboard". He then told me that I should leave his friends alone or that he would "make me his project". He then called me an asshole (his favorite word both written and spoken) and a few other curse words. I'm not sure what he meant by "making me his project", but I told him that he and his lot were already my project, which means that I will continue to challenge their email messages and their motions at the association meetings until they give up and stop treating this neighborhood as their personal fiefdom.
He walked away down my front walk out to the sidewalk and as he walked, I told him to "get off my property, asshole, and don't come back". He proceeded to grumble a few expletives and then started walking across the street into the path of a car. I warned him to look out for the car, which he didn't like much.
Then he walked up to his car.. stopped a second, his entire body became stiff as a board, turned to his right and walked around to the passenger side door of his car opened it, clambered around inside and opened the driver's side door from inside, then got out, walked around to the driver's side. I noticed while he was doing this interest little jig with his car doors that there was a long dent in the side of his car that apparentlykept him from opening the car door from the outside. I suggested to him that he ought to have that fixed. Again another snarling sneer from Mikey. I was almost laughing at that point.
How utterly demoralizing to come all the way across the neighborhood, not have me cower in his presence, to have me yell at him to get off my property and not come back and finally have to suffer the indignity of not being able to gracefully enter his vehicle and spirit himself away.
I suggested that he had better be more careful driving, and that he had better not come back. He grumbled another expletive and drove away.
Poor Mikey had his piece he wanted to recite to me all memorized and was just so completely sure how the whole interaction would go. He figured that he would have his sermon on the mount, I would fall at his knees in supplication, and the world would be his; however, when it came down to it and it didn't go the way that he planned -- he was stuck. He could not think outside the box. He tried about 4 or 5 times to get his speach spoken, but it just didn't have the withering effect that he was expecting. I guess he thought, "oh, he must not have heard me, I better say it again. I'm sure if he hears what I have to say that he'll scamper away in fear". Guess again, Mikey.
I then called the police. They came and took a report. I gave him Mikey's name and address and explained the situation and that I'd told him to get off of my property and not to come back. They asked if I would like to have them talk to him. I decided not to. I just wanted them to put into their report that I had specifically told Mikey to get off of my property and never come back. That way, if Mikey were ever let his emotions get the better of him again (I know they will), I can show a pattern of abuse by Mikey and get him arrested for tresspassing or else just get a restraining order against him.
I feel the love, baby!
Oh, one final note. Mikey had better hope that not one blade of grass on my lawn is bent, not one shrub disturbed, not one fleck of paint is missing, and not one member of my family is inconvenienced in any way for the next couple of months, because if anything does turn-up amiss, he is suspect number one and I will bring the full force of the legal system down on him. Verbal sparring over the internet is one thing, but threats of malice are quite another. Welcome to the next level.
Posted by Jeff at March 11, 2005 06:19 PM